IN MEMORIAM: Celebrating the life of Nickolas James David Fenner

The Wilmington Theater community is a tight knit collection of actors, designers, technicians, stage managers, directors, and of course, audiences. On Sept. 18, we lost a fixture of that community.

Nickolas James David Fenner passed away at the age of 31, after a long illness. What makes this loss so incredibly painful isn’t just his young age. Nick was one of those people that you don’t remember NOT knowing. He started working on shows as a teen. He was backstage at Thalian Hall for so many plays, musicals, dance recitals and live music events that he just seemed to be part of the building itself.

Nick was constantly learning and growing. He worked his way from loading in sets to becoming a sought after lighting designer. He was hired as part of the Technical department at Thalian Hall, rising to Assistant Technical Director.

More importantly than his professional achievements, Nick managed to treat everyone he encountered with kindness and generosity. He was sarcastic in the most gentle way possible, and his laugh was contagious. He worked hard, but always seemed to do so with a smile, even when no-one else in the room could find one of their own. One couldn’t help but appreciate the sense of, well ... joy, that he carried with him.

Just a brief look at Facebook will show how many lives he affected. So many people have shared stories of his giving nature and examples of him going above and beyond to help others.

Longtime friend and collaborator Joshua Zieseniss, also a light designer, had this to say about Nick: “I met Nick almost ten years ago at the Hall before we moved into an apartment together where we stayed for around 4 years. The first few years we lived together I didn't have a car and Nick drove me everywhere without hesitation. What was a favor, taking me to work or to grab groceries eventually turned into some of my favorite moments with him. When one of us needed time to vent, he would drive us around Greenfield Lake for hours just to talk and lend each other an ear. One of the times I went to visit him before he passed his Mom jokingly said to him "Nick, Josh is here, he's going to borrow your car to run up to Wal-Mart" and he just responded "of course" with a chuckle."

Anna Mann, a local event producer and longtime friend, added “Nick was a brilliant, creative force. A master of light and lover of stories, he brought gentle care to his work and his relationships. His kindness was genuine and his laughter contagious. He was a prime example of a truly good man.”

Nick’s co-workers at Thalian Hall were not immune to his charms.

Jarrett Donmoyer, COO of Thalian Hall, had this to say: “He always carried this beautiful, untamed spirit, a quiet longing to be great and truly respected in his craft. He had such a tender love for animals, able to name any lizard or bird from just a picture with a sparkle of excitement in his eyes. And above all else, there were two places that were always home to him: Thalian Hall and Lula’s, where we would talk about whatever event just happened while we all playfully bantered with one another. Gonna miss you Brother!”

Mike Morelli, Director of Scheduling and Cinema at Thalian Hall, echoed the feelings of many others, noting: “I have been at Thalian Hall for almost 15 years, and I’m not exactly sure when I met Nick… he was just kind of always here. He was the youngest of our group for a very long time and I always saw him as my Thalian Hall family little brother. Nick was, simultaneously, the kindest young man and the saltiest old sea captain. Underneath his humor and wit was one of the most thoughtful and caring people I’ve ever known, and I will miss him."

Shane Fernando, the CEO at Thalian, summed up Nick’s importance to the Hall. "Nick devoted almost the entirety of his much too short life to Thalian Hall. His love for her and what happened on her stages was palpable in every detail—every light cue he wrote, instrument he hung, and stage floor he swept. The ghost light will burn in his honor, joining the countless others over centuries who have helped keep Thalia's torch burning strong."

Nick’s talents were not limited to Thalian Hall. He served a tenure as Technical Director for Big Dawg Productions when the company had a venue on Castle Street. Zach Peschl, President of the Big Dawg Board of Directors and a former co-worker offered:

“Nick always made the best of seemingly the worst. At the end of the pandemic, we had a show on the Princess St. Portico just starting, when it began pouring down. Nick’s response was, 'let’s just go inside, the Governor just lifted the order…' so we rolled the outside lighting rig (that he designed for every show) to the basement in the pouring rain, he went to the booth to start the lights, I went on stage to rig the monitors, help with mics, and run the fly… we reopened the show less than 30 mins later. Nick saved the show, and the audience loved it.”

Holli Saperstein, Managing Director of Panache Productions: “I had the honor of being one of the first companies to give Nick the chance to light a show. He was nervous and really wanted to do it right. I sat with him that first night of tech week. It was delightful to hear him tell me why he was making his decisions. The color and placement of the each light truly had meaning to him. He was open to feedback and so wanted us to be pleased. We will miss your one of a kind personality and your passion for creating something stunning with your gift.”

Those are just a small example of the outpourings of love and appreciation that have been shared by Nick’s many friends and collaborators.

It’s hard for me to add anything that hasn’t already been said about him. I too am one of those people who can’t recall exactly when I met Nick. I remember thinking he was so young when I saw him working backstage. I remember thinking he was so young when I was told that he was sick. I remember thinking he was so young when I was told he was receiving hospice care. And I still can’t get over the fact that he was so young to have passed.

I have many memories of Nick working with me, and for me. I have many memories of conversations on the loading dock at Thalian Hall, and at Lula’s, a favorite watering hole for theater people. Nick built sets for me, designed lights for me, and at times supplied me with laughs that distracted me just long enough to get over whatever problem was between me and a show getting mounted.

I’ll just share one memory that exemplified Nick’s spirit.

Thirteen years ago, I was hospitalized for twelve days due to a staph infection that almost put me under. Nick was one of several visitors that I had while in a hospital bed. He brought me two coloring books and some crayons. He explained that he had been in the hospital a few times as a child, and that coloring had been a comfort to him. I don’t know if I ever explained to him how beautiful of a gesture that was.

I think that story reflects so much about Nick. His kind nature, his generosity, his compassion. His ability to touch people’s lives with small gestures.

He leaves behind a host of friends, fans, and admirers.

Nickolas is survived by his mom Kelly Mercer, his dad Matt and stepmom Lesli Fenner, his "Noni" Tonya Mercer, his sister Mattison Ortiz and her husband Jason, his Uncle Mark and wife Erin and daughter Samantha Mercer.

Nickolas also has many family members in Montana and Minnesota that have held him up in love and light.

To say that Nickolas was loved and that he will be missed seems too small a statement. But if anyone could turn small statements and gestures into grander emotions, it would be Nick.

Friends and family will hold a celebration of Nick’s life at the Thalian Hall ballroom on Friday, Sept. 26 at 6 p.m.