MEDITATION MATTERS: The repetitive nature of history and its manifestations

In today’s world, the ongoing atrocities are less astounding to me than the reactions to them—more shocking and especially painful is the inaction and the deafening reticence that follows.

Personally, with the lack of control that I have over most of it, I have decided to get louder with calls (literally, calling my representatives) for accountability, decency, and action; search, find, and share peace within and without; take up as much space as I possibly can manage; and share that space with as many people as possible who are trying to get loud with me.

I think that’s also called, “hope.”

For what it’s worth, as I reflect on the week of January 5-9 (I’m reserving judgement for the weekend), I’d like to share some possibly relevant and relatable musings over this moment.

In an imperfect world, I won't dwell on my own imperfections anymore. This is a notion I have been trying to put into practice for a while, and one that I’d guess more people could stand to meditate on. Nevertheless, sometimes I still need help, guidance, or at least, a starting point.

A couple of years ago, my good friend, Chelsea, gifted me her weathered copy of “Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much” —a book of daily meditative writings featuring quotes from notable characters and women of history, literature, science, and society, as well as anonymous philosophies that Time thought to remember, but didn’t catch that name.

“Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much”

Anne Wilson Schaef was an American clinical psychologist, organizational consultant, lecturer, and prolific writer who wrote and curated this collection originally in 1990 and reprinted in this edition in 2004.

It is not lost on me that January 19 marks the anniversary of Schaef’s death in 2020—a fact I didn’t know until I sat down to write this. What a serendipitous gift of happenstance, and what better way of remembrance than to share her work with you all reading right now.

They say history repeats itself, so it stands to reason that meditations rooted in past experiences and insight remain (often poignantly) relevant. Anecdotally, I believe that’s true, and you can muse over the notion with each of these highlighted pages; filled with words, moments, thoughts, occasional self-quotes from the author, and meditations with context for each calendar day.

I also include my 10-cent observation with each one as well...

January 5

CRISIS/EXHAUSTION/CONTROL

The sky is falling! The sky is falling! —Chicken Little

Crisis and my illusion of control are not unrelated. I hope I will allow myself to be open to noticing the relationship between the two in my life today.

Coincidentally, the evening prior to reading this on Monday morning, I drafted a piece called “CONTROL OF YOUR FUTURE: Why it's time to break up with the NC General Assembly” TBP (to-be-published) soon.

January 6

SELF-DECEPTION/ILLUSIONS

We live in a system built on illusions and when we put forth our own perceptions, we’re told we don’t understand reality. When reality is illusion and illusion is reality, it’s no wonder we feel crazy. —Anne Wilson Schaef 

There is an old saying, “Conscience is a cur that will let you get past it but that you cannot keep from barking.” Sometimes our awareness makes funny noises to get our attention.

This one is the kind of stuff that makes me believe in prophecies—like, how did she know?

Also, I had to look up “cur” and thought I’d save anyone else the trouble:

From Merriam Webster, cur means “a mongrel or inferior dog," or “a surly or cowardly fellow.”

With that added context, I’d say that if we consider conscience as the dog that won’t shut up, then the lack of conscience is the “cowardly fellow” that won’t speak at all.

January 7

RIGIDITY

Changes [in life] are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be accomplice to one’s own unnecessary vegetation.  —Gail Sheehy 

Have I already died? Am I one of the walking dead? Rigid isn’t stable, it’s just brittle.

I went back and read this one a couple of days late, by then, knowing what happened in Minneapolis that day and the year’s events leading up to it… Indeed, “when you stop learning, stop listening, stop looking and asking questions, always new questions, then it is time to die.”

January 8

NEED TO ACHIEVE

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.  —Gloria Steinem

I Wonder if I have really become the man I would want to marry? Would my clear and healthy woman want to marry me?

I also wonder if some of us have become the men we wouldn’t want to share a cab with, let alone marry.

January 9

ANGER

Anger as soon as fed is dead

‘Tis starving makes it fat..   —Emily Dickinson

Anger is not the problem. What I do with it is.

What a perfectly poetic bookend to the point.